THE ABC OF DISCERNMENT
Fr Tony Horan shows how to translate a complex word into simple action
Throughout our lives we all experience circumstances which require us to make choices about our lives. Sometimes there are big decisions to make about family or jobs or ministries. Other times we may need to make smaller decisions about our attitudes to behaviour in particular circumstances. When we recognise a decision is needed, Ignatian Spirituality prompts us to make a discernment. We turn to God in prayer and, through him, come to a realisation of what God prefers for us. Perhaps, through telling a story about my own life, I can illustrate a discernment process Some thirty years ago, I had been teaching in a particular Jesuit school for just over three years when there came a bombshell.
We were told that most of the Jesuits were to leave the school, except for two who would stay as Chaplains and would run the Religious Education Department.
In the coming months, we all had discussions with our Superiors about our future work, and it was proposed that I would become and assistant university chaplain. I felt quite excited about this because it would be pastoral, and because I had come into the Jesuits through a University Chaplaincy.
But, as the months went by, I began to feel uneasy. I looked around and wondered who would be the two who would be left behind to act as Chaplains and religious teachers. I knew what the future jobs of my fellow Jesuits were going to be. In fact, I seemed to be the most suitable person to be left behind in these roles! On the other hand, the excitement of working in a University Chaplaincy was drawing me. But the promise had been made: two Jesuits were to stay, and I was feeling more and more of that promise.
Eventually, I sought an interview with the Provincial Superior, and I told him what I was thinking. ‘Would you be ready to stay on as Chaplain etc?’, I was asked. When I said ‘Yes’, did I imagine a little sigh of relief? That is how I came to spend another seven years at the school; exciting and fulfilling years they were too. Was I consciously making a discernment?
Not consciously, but I was. Consider the process that I went through.
Every discernment needs to be made with a renewed and deep sense of God’s loving care for us. I don’t remember starting with that thirty-five years ago, but it is key. God’s will for us, in every situation, is part of His loving care, so we don’t need to be afraid of His will. Often it is enough to get in touch with God’s love and the decision seems to make itself. A discernment is always between two or more goods. You can’t do a discernment between a good thing and an evil, if you want to do God’’s will. Sooner or later the choice needs to be reduced to two possibilities, this or that. The simpler the choice, the easier it is to make a discernment. I felt uneasy. The key to listening to God, is noticing how I am feeling when I am trying to be in God’s presence. My uneasiness was trying to let me know that God wanted something. So all through a discernment, even more than at other times, we need to be aware of which choice promotes felt experiences of greater faith, love or hope. I looked at the facts. Although the decision is to be made by listening to the Lord, it is important that it be an informed decision, made with an awareness of all the relevant factors. If there is no particular movement of spirits, but simply a calm, enabling one to think clearly. So I list the alternatives and their advantages and disadvantages. Then, having listed them, it can be good to spend time in prayer with each alternative. Supposing I decide to start this new project? ...Am I drawn towards God as I try to imagine myself doing it? Does it bring a sense of light and simplicity, a feeling of ‘feet on the ground’ and deep peace?
Then: Supposing I decide not to start
the project?...
In God’s presence, I now immerse myself in this alternative - noticing what goes on inside me as I do so.
On reflection, which of the two alternatives brings a deep-down peace, and leads more to God’s service? If the answer is clear, then I know which of the two, God is asking me to do. Which alternative seemed to bring me more quiet energy?
I was being pulled in two opposing directions. Getting in touch with the pulls on the heart, is an important part of the discernment. It is important to look at what actually is pulling. I wonder how much of the pull towards chaplaincy work was really a desire to escape from the difficulties of the classroom - keeping unruly boys under control, for example. Discernment is about being drawn to something, not escaping from something. My pull towards university chaplaincy work had a strong element of happy memories in it, though I was drawn to helping undergraduates, as I myself had been helped. It is important to pray to understand the pulls that are affecting you and to notice how strong they are and where they seem to come from. If you have a strong bias towards one of the choices, it may not be possible to be free to really listen to the Lord. It is always necessary to ask the Lord to help you to be free to hear his call.
Perhaps now I am ready to make a tentative decision and to offer it to the Father, asking if this is what He wants. Do I find myself in deep quiet peace, in a deeper sense of God’s love? Recognising that I am in spiritual consolation is a sign that the way I am considering is in harmony with God’s will. We call it interior confirmation of the decision made. Exterior confirmation is when the decision made becomes possible.
At this point, if not earlier, it is good to talk to someone about what has been going on in you (but choose the person carefully). Talking about it helps you to clarify what it means for you.
In the coming months, we all had discussions with our Superiors about our future work, and it was proposed that I would become and assistant university chaplain. I felt quite excited about this because it would be pastoral, and because I had come into the Jesuits through a University Chaplaincy.
But, as the months went by, I began to feel uneasy. I looked around and wondered who would be the two who would be left behind to act as Chaplains and religious teachers. I knew what the future jobs of my fellow Jesuits were going to be. In fact, I seemed to be the most suitable person to be left behind in these roles! On the other hand, the excitement of working in a University Chaplaincy was drawing me. But the promise had been made: two Jesuits were to stay, and I was feeling more and more of that promise.
Eventually, I sought an interview with the Provincial Superior, and I told him what I was thinking. ‘Would you be ready to stay on as Chaplain etc?’, I was asked. When I said ‘Yes’, did I imagine a little sigh of relief? That is how I came to spend another seven years at the school; exciting and fulfilling years they were too. Was I consciously making a discernment?
Not consciously, but I was. Consider the process that I went through.
Every discernment needs to be made with a renewed and deep sense of God’s loving care for us. I don’t remember starting with that thirty-five years ago, but it is key. God’s will for us, in every situation, is part of His loving care, so we don’t need to be afraid of His will. Often it is enough to get in touch with God’s love and the decision seems to make itself. A discernment is always between two or more goods. You can’t do a discernment between a good thing and an evil, if you want to do God’’s will. Sooner or later the choice needs to be reduced to two possibilities, this or that. The simpler the choice, the easier it is to make a discernment. I felt uneasy. The key to listening to God, is noticing how I am feeling when I am trying to be in God’s presence. My uneasiness was trying to let me know that God wanted something. So all through a discernment, even more than at other times, we need to be aware of which choice promotes felt experiences of greater faith, love or hope. I looked at the facts. Although the decision is to be made by listening to the Lord, it is important that it be an informed decision, made with an awareness of all the relevant factors. If there is no particular movement of spirits, but simply a calm, enabling one to think clearly. So I list the alternatives and their advantages and disadvantages. Then, having listed them, it can be good to spend time in prayer with each alternative. Supposing I decide to start this new project? ...Am I drawn towards God as I try to imagine myself doing it? Does it bring a sense of light and simplicity, a feeling of ‘feet on the ground’ and deep peace?
Then: Supposing I decide not to start
the project?...
In God’s presence, I now immerse myself in this alternative - noticing what goes on inside me as I do so.
On reflection, which of the two alternatives brings a deep-down peace, and leads more to God’s service? If the answer is clear, then I know which of the two, God is asking me to do. Which alternative seemed to bring me more quiet energy?
I was being pulled in two opposing directions. Getting in touch with the pulls on the heart, is an important part of the discernment. It is important to look at what actually is pulling. I wonder how much of the pull towards chaplaincy work was really a desire to escape from the difficulties of the classroom - keeping unruly boys under control, for example. Discernment is about being drawn to something, not escaping from something. My pull towards university chaplaincy work had a strong element of happy memories in it, though I was drawn to helping undergraduates, as I myself had been helped. It is important to pray to understand the pulls that are affecting you and to notice how strong they are and where they seem to come from. If you have a strong bias towards one of the choices, it may not be possible to be free to really listen to the Lord. It is always necessary to ask the Lord to help you to be free to hear his call.
Perhaps now I am ready to make a tentative decision and to offer it to the Father, asking if this is what He wants. Do I find myself in deep quiet peace, in a deeper sense of God’s love? Recognising that I am in spiritual consolation is a sign that the way I am considering is in harmony with God’s will. We call it interior confirmation of the decision made. Exterior confirmation is when the decision made becomes possible.
At this point, if not earlier, it is good to talk to someone about what has been going on in you (but choose the person carefully). Talking about it helps you to clarify what it means for you.